BOOK REVIEW: Relationship Therapy - 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Updated: Feb 24, 2021

Relationship Therapy - 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Struggling with your relationship? Don’t know if couples counselling is for you? Then sometimes reading and utilising

self help books can support new habits. I hope this book review will help.

Many of us have often encountered couples complaining about not being satisfied in their relationships despite all the efforts. They fail to realise which aspect of their union should be worked upon when all has been tried.

Gary Chapman is a renowned marriage counsellor and director of marriage seminars. He's an author of multiple books based on relationship counselling, be it couples, parental relationships or relationships with children. One of his popular titles 'The 5 Love Languages' have helped couples form lasting relationships through establishing a new love language.

After years of thought and research, he concluded that love has various languages and all of these are received differently by different people. To understand better, let us go through these.

Words of Affirmation

Some people feel loved and important when they're complimented or encouraged for their efforts. When they're verbally appreciated for the extra mile they went. It might include love letters and text messages too. Words mean a lot to them. The selection of the right words matters and leaves an impactful impression on your partner.

Acts of Service

Another group of people feel comforted and adored if they're helped with the daily chores that burden them. An empathetic partner who would ease out the other's stress by helping around in the house would rekindle the spark in the relationship.

Receiving Gifts

A set of people feel valuable and beloved if they are showered with gifts. These gifts can be expensive or ordinary. Just to convey the message 'I was thinking of you'. A gift every once in a while will make your better half feel wanted and special. It's the love, which accompanies it, that counts.

Quality Time

It might include a deep conversation between spouses or a date night amidst your busy schedules. Present with both body and mind, without any distraction. Your focus and mental presence to your partner might be a priority for him/her to nurture your relationship.

Physical Touch

For some, it's the hugs and the kisses, sitting in the lap or rubbing backs that does the trick. It doesn't necessarily have to be sex or intercourse. Just physical affection makes them feel important and needed.


Clear communication between spouses would make a difference. One might be expressing love while the other denies the same.

For example, a husband might be buying expensive gifts to express his love for her yet finds her ungrateful. On the other hand, the wife expects undivided time from her spouse which she hardly gets.

The partners can discuss which love language is well received by each to work on it together for a restored marital bliss.

Couples can consult a relationship therapist for relationship counselling or couples therapy to help work through these love languages.

If you are happy to have online therapy whilst we are going through the current pandemic and want help with your relationship then contact Julie or book online using the live diary and book a couples consultation. More details can be found here.

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